I Was Thinking

The girl in the first picture is not the same as the girl in the second picture. The lessons I have learned over the years resonate through the values I hold close to me. The person  I was in the first picture never spoke her feelings because the happiness of others was always more important than her own. She lived a life scared of what people thought about her and she was never comfortable in her skin. I was experiencing heart break over and over again, but only because I let it happen. For reasons I can’t explain, I never let my own voice shine through. For the most part, I was happy, but I knew I had a lot to work on. Years have past since this photo, and I can tell you that a lot has changed.

The girl in the second picture learned from those mistakes. It’s all about my own personal growth and making sure I’m happy with where it’s heading. Sometimes I do still struggle to put myself first. I’ve learned that I need to remind myself that it’s important for me to be a little selfish to make personal growth. Making the people around me happy is what makes me happy, it always will. The key was creating a balance between everyones happiness. I am learning to do what was best for me, because everyone else does the same for themselves, so why couldn’t I? The heartbreak taught me that no matter who you are, no-one should ever feel that insecure in a relationship. Looking at the issues in my life as if they were a matter of life and death have now become some of the most paramount lessons. It is not worth my time to go back and regret the past. I now use the past to create a better future.

The hardest lesson I’ve been faced with is not caring about what others thought of me. I do still struggle with this, but I think on different levels most people do too. Starting this blog opened a whole new door where I share parts of my life that most people wouldn’t know. It has helped me overcome some sort of insecurity about being vulnerable to the public.

Some things seem overwhelming and too much to bear, but in the end it will become a valuable lesson. There were times where I thought I would never become my own person. I thought I was stuck feeling bad for myself. Trust me, you can get through anything.

Stay rad,

Caroline Abigail

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Just a 22-year-old sharing her thoughts and feelings towards life, school, love, and positivity!

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