Confliction

Sitting down to write has been a real challenge this week. I have been waking up inspired and motivated but by mid day, all I want to do is shut off my phone and lay in bed. I catch myself feeling overwhelmed at tasks that aren’t even that hard. I start at a peak of high energy and then end with a tired, cluttered brain. Days like these frustrate me to no end. I can’t even pinpoint a reason to why I feel this way. I know I’m capable of achieving much more that accepting mental defeat.

I tell myself that this is content that I should be putting out on my blog; the bad moments. No-one wants to hear all about how perfect someones life is, because ultimately, no ones life is. Sometimes my positive mentality can’t pull me out of the things that get me down. Everything has always been a learning process for me. Music, friends, family, meditation, poetry, and writing have been huge outlets for me to keep my mind off of what is really going on in my life. This week I had to sit down with myself and tell me that there will always be work to be done and that’s okay. I’m conflicted about making sure everything I do is perfect, but that isn’t fair. Everything should be done how I want, not based on what others might think/say.

I’m writing this post on Valentine’s Day. I have three chapters of my Astronomy book I need to read and take notes on my Ecology reading before I shower and get ready for the night. These are simple tasks that when finished, will make the rest of the night worth it. I get to spend Valentine’s Day with one of my close girl friends hanging out in town. Sometimes the pressure is worth it when making sure I get done what needs to be done. I also know that sometimes I can’t be too hard on myself because not everything can be done perfectly; that’s life.

Enjoy the long weekend and make sure to spread the love!

Stay rad,

Caroline Abigail

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Just a 22-year-old sharing her thoughts and feelings towards life, school, love, and positivity!

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